Tag: life

Helpful Resources in My Life Right Now

Posted in Journal, TheologyTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Over the course of the past two years or so I’ve been on somewhat of an individual and intentional faith retreat. I just made that phrase up, so I’m not sure if that even makes any sense, but that’s just what it feels like. Since moving to the Omaha area, my wife and I have felt fairly homeless in each church community we’ve attempted to be a part of, for varying reasons. As Sarah and I have navigated all sorts of challenges and twists and turns in our life together, I have been assessing my own faith and its foundations in my life. There have been all sorts of people, podcasts, books, articles, TV shows, conversations, and simple life encounters that have helped me progress on my journey. There are a few that are especially helpful right now in my life that I thought I would share.

The Bible for Normal People

A podcast is hosted by Peter Enns and Jared Byas.

They interview people about regarding their view and interpretation of the Bible. Although I don’t particularly feel like Peter and Jared are all that great at interviewing people, the people they have interviewed have been great.

http://thebiblefornormalpeople.podbean.com

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-bible-for-normal-people/id1215420422?mt=2

What is the Bible? 

A new book by Rob Bell.

I’m not even halfway into this book right now, but for me I find Rob’s understanding of the Bible extremely helpful and encouraging. One of my favorite lines is when he was asked if he takes the Bible literally. And he says that he doesn’t take the Bible literally, he takes it literately. Some people may think that he therefore is a heretic or a has a very low view of the Bible, but as he explains his views and understanding of the Bible, you quickly realize that this view is actually a higher view of the Bible when contrasted to those who believe that it is only right to take the Bible as literally as possible.

I also listen to Rob’s podcast and watch his Facebook live videos and it’s hard to not find his joy and excitement contagious. Sometimes when I just need a lift of positivity I go see if Rob as put anything out recently because he’s always carefree, full of grace, and laughing.

“The Science of Sinning Less,”

A Christianity Today cover article for May 2017

I work with at-risk teenage girls. I am constantly thinking about behavioral strategies while also thinking about trying to instill an inner willpower for good in these girls, my own two little boys, and myself. This article uses a simple but powerful metaphor to explain how self-control, willpower, and our behavioral routines are all tied to our spiritual development and our daily life.

“Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front”

A poem by Wendall Berry that I revisit nearly every day for inspiration. So many great lines. I love the message it teaches.

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion – put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Finding God in the Waves

A book by Mike McHargue.

I read this book a couple months ago, but I think of it constantly. I love how much “Science Mike” connected the functions of the brain to our person and our faith. I think he found an incredible balance in his book of how to understand what we know about the science of our brains and how God relates with us and this world.

Hidden Brain

A podcast by Shankar Vedantam

I love sociology, psychology, and anything about the science of the brain. This podcast addresses all of those areas and I usually find the discussions in this podcast extremely interesting and applicable. 

http://www.npr.org/series/423302056/hidden-brain

The Leftovers: Season 3

A TV show on HBO. 

The Leftovers may be one of the best shows on television in the last few years. Season 2 might be my favorite season of TV since The Sopranos. But this season is also incredible, and it feels like it has the most biblical references of any of the seasons. The psychological dread that I feel as I watch this comes dangerously close to how I feel when I watch the news regarding Trump, too. But the mystery of what is to come (there are only two more episodes left in the series) is extremely exciting and I can only hope that it ends better than the last episode of Lost. (It has the same writer, but he said he learned his mistake. We’ll see…)

The Handmaid’s Tale: Season 1

A TV show on Hulu.

This is a dark show in many ways. It’s another dystopian story that feels a little to close to home. But the biblical imagery that it uses is extremely provoking and has caused me to do a deep dive into the story of Jacob and his wives and his wives’ handmaids. Lots of interesting theological elements to wrestle with. In some ways it feels like the age of biblical patriarchs recast into a modern context, told from the women’s perspective. 

The story of Jacob 

Found in the book of Genesis in the Bible. 

There are so many aspects of the life of Jacob that seem very strange to me. But I have been fascinated with his story for about a month now and have done lots of reading and research about him and his story as we know it. Perhaps the most significant element of his life that I have found to shape how I’m thinking right now is his wrestling match with God, as it is explained in Genesis. He wrestles with the angel, his hip is knocked out of place with a touch, and he holds onto the angel with all his might and refuses to let go until God blesses him. After the wrestle his name is changed to Israel, which roughly means, one who wrestles with God. And _this_ is the name that the Jewish nation takes on. And I think we can find good meaning for ourselves in that exchange with God. 

The Paradoxical Commandments

A book and “commandments” by Kent M. Keith.

These commandments hung on the walls of Mother Teresa’s home in Calcutta. They speak to a deep sense of purpose and meaning that we can possess which seem to be upside down. They seem to be counterintuitive. They seem to be paradoxical. 

I made them into a PDF if you’d like to check them out. 

Paradoxical Commandments

Overlapping Thoughts: Vol. One

Posted in JournalTagged , , , , , , Leave a comment

I think I’m going to start using this blog as more of a journal, especially about things related to faith and the beyond the surface moments of life that I notice. It is pretty stream of consciousness, and for myself first and foremost, so please don’t expect it to be excellent writing. 

Continue reading “Overlapping Thoughts: Vol. One” →

Five Senses: in the cactus room

Posted in Five Senses, JournalTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Touch: There’s cool air coming in from the vent above me. I feel it on my skin. It makes me long for spring to finally get here and stay here. We’ve had really dark and gloomy days these past couple weeks, and it makes it so we can’t send the kids outside to play on the playground. It makes our days off harder too because then we’re stuck inside with not much to do. I look forward to feeling the sun on my skin and the cool breeze of the spring air. My favorite kind of weather is a day with lots of warm sunlight, but with a cool steady breeze.

Taste: I’m drinking coffee right now, and it actually tastes pretty good overall. Usually the morning coffee from the coffee maker isn’t very good. But I think it’s very much influenced by what I ate for breakfast and how tired I am. I had some cinnamon toast crunch this morning, which is pretty much the unanimous favorite cereal of the girls, and I think the cinnamon taste left my mouth prepped and ready to go for whatever kind of garbage coffee I might put into my body.

See: Right now I am sitting in the room that has the most light. It has the most life. It is the most welcoming room in our home. In front of three large windows we have a ledge with all sorts of succulents and cacti. I love this room. It brings me peace.

While I say that though I read and saw a video of some horrible atrocities in Syria with people being gassed and killed by their own government. Again. It’s just the worst thing. And I just don’t know how to process it. My brain and heart are too full to know how to even address it. That’s not even to mention trying to figure out how I categorize events like these theologically.

I know that people I respect also struggle to know what to do with events like this too:

Smell: Although I don’t smell anything specific right now, I am reminded that I can take a moment to breathe in a long, slow breath. To stop and reflect. I am sitting in the middle of the United States of America. I’m safe. How greatly has that shaped my perceptions about God, the Bible, and my faith? What would my faith look right now if I were in Syria?

Hear: The house is quiet. Micah is at school. Ezra is in the back with Sarah. I am sitting alone and I am enjoying this time. I hear trucks pass out the window from time to time, but otherwise it is very quiet.

Emotion: Right now I am feeling tender. I am not particularly happy, nor am I particularly sad. I’m sensitive. News stories about Trump, North Korea, Syria, etc. easily sway my mood and my heart right now.

After thinking for a while and looking at resources on suffering and things, I saw this great video about the book of Job.

Kill the Flame

Posted in TheologyTagged , , , Leave a comment

This song by Leonard Cohen has been haunting me for a few months now: 

https://open.spotify.com/track/5zb7npjQqoJ7Kcpq4yD9qn

If you are the dealer, I’m out of the game
If you are the healer, it means I’m broken and lame
If thine is the glory then mine must be the shame
You want it darker
We kill the flame
Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name
Vilified, crucified, in the human frame
A million candles burning for the help that never came
You want it darker
Hineni, hineni
I’m ready, my lord
There’s a lover in the story
But the story’s still the same
There’s a lullaby for suffering
And a paradox to blame
But it’s written in the scriptures
And it’s not some idle claim
You want it darker
We kill the flame
They’re lining up the prisoners
And the guards are taking aim
I struggled with some demons
They were middle class and tame
I didn’t know I had permission to murder and to maim
You want it darker
Hineni, hineni
I’m ready, my lord
Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name
Vilified, crucified, in the human frame
A million candles burning for the love that never came
You want it darker
We kill the flame
If you are the dealer, let me out of the game
If you are the healer, I’m broken and lame
If thine is the glory, mine must be the shame
You want it darker
Hineni, hineni
Hineni, hineni
I’m ready, my lord
Hineni
Hineni, hineni
Hineni

 

 

 

Here’s the YouTube link if that works better for you:

https://youtu.be/v0nmHymgM7Y

Giving Space for Shalom

Posted in TheologyTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I believe one of our deepest longings is for peace and rest – for shalom. There’s a lot wrapped up in that – connection, belonging, safety, complete transparency, trust, compassion, and freedom.

One of my many lofty goals when I’m at my best is to help give space for people to experience moments of shalom. I think we constantly battle as human beings accepting who we are, believing we can do better, yet knowing that we are generally doing the best we can at any given moment. This leads to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and anxiety, and therefore unrest within the deepest parts of ourself.

Part of the irony of trying to experience shalom in our lives is that we are constantly struggling, hustling, and trying to earn shalom in our lives. But that’s not how we encounter shalom.

We all long for shalom, but we tend to look for it in the wrong places.

Grace and shalom are found in God. They are embodied in Jesus. They are swirling through this this world as the Spirit of God. They are found in the fingerprint’s of our God on his creation. For some reason we tend to think we have to pursue shalom, when really we only have to receive it. Similar to grace, we often make the hard moments of life harder on ourselves by thinking we need to earn shalom through hard work, or by being doing enough “good” things.

I believe that one of the greatest privileges that we have as image-bearers of God is that we are deemed ambassadors of his kingdom. We get to reflect and bring God’s infinite love, grace, and shalom to others. We are most likely to experience shalom as we we give space for others to experience it.

When we bring shalom into the chaos of this world and into the lives of one another, we are living into our unique role in this world as human beings. No other species has the ability to overcome the way of nature with the way of grace like we do.

In my experience, shalom breaks into our lives when we give space for others to experience peace and rest by being welcoming, honest, compassionate, empathetic, and good listeners. When we pay attention to the lives of those around us — their emotions, their words, the emotions behind their words, their composure, their schedules — in the midst of our violent, narcissistic, and consumer-driven world, we give them the space to recognize they are loved. I believe as we love others as God loves us – with a love that seeks us out and tells us we are valuable and worthy – we are participants with the Holy Spirit in God’s relentless pursuit of his furious love for all people.

This is what we are invited into. We get to tell, through our words, our actions, and our attention, the good news of God’s love to others, letting others experience the freedom and rest that is found in the shalom of the Kingdom of God.

 

Seeing God

Posted in JournalTagged , , , , , , Leave a comment

I took a step outside this morning to take my son Micah to the bus and took in a nice long breath of the cool November air. Instantly, I felt God’s surrounding peace and presence in my lungs and body. It was the simple nourishment I needed in that moment.

The last few days I’ve been trying to go over the beatitudes every morning in my mind. I do this to remind myself of what the Kingdom of God looks and feels like. For me to be able to recognize the overlap moments I need to be thoroughly familiar with what the Kingdom of God’s tells are in this world.

I have been particularly focused on the beatitude

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

I have been trying to pay better attention to the conversations, situations, and predicaments I have found myself in recently and trying to see where God might be at work. But I believe for me to truly understand and see God working, my heart has to be filtered of its impurities. They get in the way of letting me see the fuller picture of what may be going on. Of course God’s grace is constantly at work in and through and around me, but when I stop to pay attention after intentionally assessing my heart the veil often gets pulled back a bit and I can see God at work.

There is depth in every moment.

 

 

Ok, so here we go.

Posted in JournalTagged , Leave a comment

I love writing, but I’m still figuring out this writing thing, so my posts on this site will be very stream of consciousness. I’m trying to write and reflect more, and I’m intentionally not trying to publish posts that make me look better than I am. No editing at this point. I’m probably rarely going to have images to go along with my writing as well. I just don’t have the time for it. I need this to just be me, no filters.

I’m sure that as I get into a better habit of writing, it will get better, (I hope so at least!) but I am writing this first and foremost for myself. It is an attempt to be 100% honest with others and myself. I’m not planing to hide anything that comes to mind as I write.

I am an idealist through and through and always think I can be better and love better. I feel at peace when I have the time to take a deep breath and am able to sit down in front of my laptop and write out my thoughts. In the past I have always been incredibly aware of who might be reading my posts and I edit myself. But not here. This will not be like that.

These posts will be me. No hiding. I’m not expecting to get lots of attention or hits on this site. I’m trying to write more consistently so that I can better understand myself. If you happen to have stumbled upon this site, then welcome to my messy journey. I’m a confusing and inconsistent person. But I’m trying everyday to first believe I am furiously loved by God so that as I go about my days I can live in the freedom of his grace. As I live in gratitude for his encompassing love, I believe I will be better at noticing the moments of what I call the overlap — the moments where the world I was created for crash into the world in which I was born into.

So here we go.

 

 

What is the overlap?

Posted in TheologyTagged , , , , Leave a comment

I keep thinking of various ways to describe the complexity of our existence. The fact that we are born into a world of struggle, sin, and shame but created for a world of connection, love, and grace. The kingdom of man, and the kingdom of God. The way of nature, and the way of grace.

Some in the circles I have been a part of have described our present reality with our future hope as “the already and the not yet.” But I haven’t found that concept to really describe the reality that I encounter.

I think to talk about the reality of God’s kingdom and/or presence of God as the “already, not yet” takes away from the mystery and paradox of the reality of our existence — that we have been born into a world of darkness, yet created for a world of light.

God’s presence in his creation was here before we were even around. Even before the earth had been fully formed, God’s Spirit hovered over the waters of the earth. We became participants with God in his creation as soon as Ruach Elohim entered in through the nostrils of Adam. Then, two thousand years ago, the New Adam came and participated as one of us, born as his own creation.

It’s not even that we are between two kingdoms. The kingdom of God has already fully broken in. The kingdom is here. The complexity isn’t that we live in between two kingdoms, it’s that we live in two kingdoms. We’re invited to recognize this, live in it’s confusing yet peace-giving reality, and then bring that peace to others.

—

The creation we see in Genesis 1 is called good. When man and woman are created, they are called very good. Yet that is not the world that I was born into. But it is the world that I was created for. Creation is God’s temple. It is where He calls us, inviting us to come be with him. To find rest, in Him.

There is boundless wisdom in the Lord’s prayer, but Jesus tells us to pray for “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

There are moments when this prayer is answered. The moments when we can fully see and participate in both worlds simultaneously.

I call it the overlap. The moments where what we were created for overlaps with our present reality. Moments where we find cracks in the world of greed, violence, and depravity so that the light is able to shine through.

The overlap is when we recognize the breaking in of the kingdom of heaven into our present existence. It is when we recognize our meaning and purpose as humans. We are image bearers of God, little representatives of creation’s Maker, told to bring order to the chaos around us. To overcome evil with good. To live peaceably with one another. To tend to the earth and participate with the master sower. To populate the earth and participate with the master sewer, who stitches together every unique individual made in His image. To have faith in the midst of polarized certainty and unresolved ambivalence.

The moments where we empty ourselves of our self-serving desires.
The moments where we look to the world around us with compassion and mourning.
The moments where we recognize our purpose and worth, and live in that freedom.
The moments where our hunger and thirst to do right overcomes our own appetites.
The moments where our instinct is that of forgiveness rather than vengeance.
The moments where we pay attention to the Spirit’s grand symphony that surrounds us.
The moments where bring peace and rest to those living in chaos and unrest.
The moments where we do not fear those who can merely destroy the body, but of only the one who can destroy both body and soul.

These are moments of the overlap – where we live as we are intended to, ambassadors recognizing God’s kingdom in this world. Moments where we realize that the Spirit of God has called us to participate with him in the way of grace even in the midst of the the way of nature.

To experience the presence of God, all we have to do is breath. Ruach Elohim fills his creation with his presence and peace, so that no matter where we go in this world we can take a deep breath, and there be in his kingdom and his presence in us.